Oc and Chuen Learn Why

Chuen took a deep breath. “I am A monkey as you know. This totally freaks me out.  I miss my mommy and my daddy.  And, I really want to know what is going on. I am only nine years old where I come from -  and yet I feel, if you tell me, I can understand. I'd like some explanation if someone wouldn't mind.” 

With that, Chuen held the wand up and looked around. Owl flew over and gently extracted the wand from Chuen's hand.  I will tell you what I can.  We have no people as you know them.  In MesoEarth we are the tribes of all the humans and other living beings on the earth. We communicate telepathically, as I am sure you have noticed. We also use pure sound when the power of it is needed. We use this sound in the act of creating from the void. 

This sound magic is used within the Council of Ben. All of our councils are sacred gatherings. The Ben defines home as Eb meant road. Our roads should all lead to home.  Tell me, Chuen, what did you dream last night?” 

“I dreamed of living in a round structure,' Chuen began once the wand was placed in their hand. Owl stood near. “It was a big hollow round room. In the center was a cave filled with crystals. I lived outside of this cave in the curved space around it. It was beautiful.”

Owl took the wand back. “Chuen, this is your home you are dreaming of -not the home of your parents and sisters. The home of your soul.” 

“Chuen, you have been long absent from any councils of Ben in MesoEarth.  Oc accompanies you in the upper realm, and has also been missing. Now you are both here, though you are not exactly who you used to be. Your are the essence of Chuen, our monkey who became human, and who stayed in the upper realm. This is the monkey planet in a turtle galaxy. As odd as it sounds the monkey has become the face of planet earth. The monkey has lost her memory and no longer remembers MesoEarth nor where earth is in the dance of the celestials.” 

“We, in MesoEarth, are the tribes of earth. Humans and dogs come from our tribes. We are shadows in the minds of humans. Once we all moved together, growing in harmony, becoming, always becoming more sacred, and more alive and more conscious. Something occurred in the upper realm, separating humans from our shared lives together. It is the consciousness of dominance, that has spread like a cancer over thousands of years of seperaton.  

The monkeys left our tribes,  and began living separately in the upper realm, no longer acknowledging the sacredness of interdependent life - they lost touch with all natural rhythms.  As time goes on, the cycles of nature become as  hidden as possible in your lives. Time is prescribed by machines. Acting within one’s personal time is actively discouraged.” 

“Humans are no longer synchronized to planetary energies. It is a miracle you have come here, Chuen and Oc, as far apart as we have become in our realities. And I believe, as for you being nine in the upper realm, anyone older would not be able to hold the reality of MesoEarth. Your people do not allow anyone out of their narrow strictures of realty. Any older, and your mind would have been stripped of its ability to comprehend any of this. You have the flexibility of a mind not yet hardened into only three dimensions. You must have been near a portal for this to occur.”

"Oc, as hard as it may seem, your people need your help here in the MesoEarth. You can not help them by going home to the upper realm. You and Chuen are needed here. We have much work to do between now and the winter solstice. We are in the window of the new moon and summer solstice for the next three days. There is much visioning which must occur if we are to navigate a safe passage through where our spaceship earth is now passing. We Will need a full council if this is to occur. That is why you have come, and why you must stay until we have come full circle to where and when you came. The following days, weeks and months are most critical to the inhabitants of this planet if we are to make it."

Oc and Chuen Awaken

Chuen awoke before dawn. The entire dwelling seemed to come alive all together. Oc blinked at Chuen and asked, “what did you dream?”

“I dreamed of being at home, but it wasn't where I live with Mommy and Daddy and my sisters.  It was a round house made of beautiful wood and it was where I lived. “ 

Oc nodded sagely and said, “I dreamed of my two people. They may be in trouble. I feel like I need to get back to them as quickly as possible.” 

Chuen shuddered to think of all the chaos there would be while people looked for them. The second day here, they had cried all day in anger and frustration of not being able to be found. They were now a little brown monkey instead of a human being. That alone freaked them out, if you didn't even factor in the whole lost thing without a grown up in sight, not even people. Everybody was an animal from bobcats, turtles, thrushes, everybody they had seen seemed perfectly human except they weren’t; they were all animals. This dumbfounded and escaped their logic like a dream does.

This is what Chuen had decided: they were dreaming an extended dream that felt more real to them than anything they had ever dreamed before. Just knowing they were dreaming, being aware of this fact, made it seem more real and less real. They would wake up from this crazy experience if they could, but nothing they did woke them up. They had jumped and twisted and turned. Scampered up and down trees like the monkey they now were.  

By the fifth day of this journey, Chuen accepted their name and the fact they were a monkey. That was something else they didn't understand: how their name could irrevocably change. They  were not Willow any more. And Oc was no longer Scout. Oc talked to them without vocalizing with no sound Chuen could hear. Oc's voice sounded in the mind with great clarity. Chuen could formulate an answer to Oc, speaking directly to them without moving their mouth. This is how everybody talked here.  

When Oc and Chuen awoke and emerged from sleep on the day of Ben, the Bobcats led them outside to greet the dawn. Dark shades of blue and black softly gave way to brilliant greens, fifty thousands shades of green.glowing from within as night became day.

They proceeded to a nearby river. The Bobcats began wading in the water and urged Chuen and Oc to follow. The water was startling clear and cold. Oc swam furiously to keep up with the others, being such a small animal. Chuen noticed their difficulty and scooped Oc into their arms. Once everyone immersed themselves in the electrifying water, all emerged, and shook themselves dry with vigor.

Bees and a pair of Armadillos came to the pool. In awe, Chuen and Oc watched the Bees swarm over the water and dive bomb into it, and  quickly, back out. The Armadillos took a bit more time, immersing their strange hard shelled bodies into the water. Two thrushes flew in next, performing a unique baptismal. Woodpeckers, gazelles, coyotes, raccoons, fawns, macaws - the variety of animals was astounding. Vultures, owls, pumas, hummingbirds, weasels, eagles, quetzal bird. 

The crowd grew and grew. Finally the silent people (because they were all people despite their species), begin walking in single file towards the rising sun. They went over a rise where lay another hill with a circular path winding around it. Everyone followed the path around the hill four times growing closer and closer to its green-clad sides with each revolution. Oc noticed a small door leading inside the hill. An eagle and an owl fanned smoke onto each person, sweeping them from head to foot and back again with their wings. A bright hummingbird dripped a sweet fragrance onto each person's crown. Then each dropped low, entering through the small door and tunnel. A short crawl later, and the room opened into a big round orange clay bowl.Everyone sat or perched in this circular space in complete silence. The relief of a large eagle resided in the clay in the center of this space. Directly in the center was a fire and within it glowed many hot rocks.

A spotted fawn pushed a bowl of liquid around with her nose. Everyone partook with a small swallow including Chuen and Oc. Last, A large jaguar emerged from the tunnel, took the seat left vacant in the north,  and sat with his tail switching looking around the sacred space. 

Armadillo began the council by asking all to turn to the east and a chant honoring East rose in sound. Each direction was intoned and then the center.  

Eagle began to talk. “ We thank Armadillos for beginning this ceremony. She is of the Ben energy, on whose day this council now meets.”

He continued,  “As you all know these are auspicious times. We are close to the solstice, when the wheel turns and resets itself into a new era, eons in coming. We ready ourselves for the changes being wrought as this solar system moves through space. This is the last solstice before the revolution and resetting of the Days. We have much work to do.”

“UpperEarth is not taking this ride through space and all the changes it brings with any grace. They have so poisoned their earth, air and water  and spirit so all are in danger of mass extinction.

“We welcome Chuen and Oc, visitors from the Upper Realm. They dropped into MesoEarth when Ik blew in 12 days ago. BobCat discovered them yesterday on the Eb day,  before sunset. 

We enter into the The Men Trecena in day atfter tomorrow. This is the Trecena of Vision, of the Eagles' Eye View. This is an appropriate time for us together in MesoEarth to hold a collective vision in crystal clearness for the next thirteen days. There are many ceremonies and rituals as our tribes are gathering from near and far, heralding in the birth of summer, the waning time of year. That which hot and bright begins to subside.  The Descent into Darkness begins at the Solstice.

Today is Ben. Our local tribes are gathered. On this day we pray, dream, contemplate on being at home on our Earth, in our bodies, treating the land, water air and each other with respect . Today, also we welcome Chuen and Oc who are misplaced from their home. They are from the Upper Realm, as you know.  Let us listen to their story. 

Eagle placed in front of Oc a thick stick, inset with turquoise and aquamarine stones, topped with a very clear crystal whose center held a dark brown citrine incursion surrounded with  smokey blue gray quartz. There were the bright feathers of the quetzal bird tied near the top and intricate beads. Oc understood this to be a talking wand and knew as long as they held this, there would be no interruptions.

“We were a small pet dog and a young girl where we came from,” Oc began. “I have two people I take care of. I must get home to them because I sense they are in great danger. I don't know how we got here or why. I do not know why my powers of communication have deepened so dramatically. I do not know why Chuen is a monkey and called Chuen. I do not know how to get home.” With that small speech, Oc handed the Talking Stick back to Armadillo who offered the stick to Chuen. 

Peeking into the Way of Oc and Chuen

 Let’s peek into Oc and Chuen’s first story

The story of Oc and Chuen is a story which began coming alive  on an Eb day when my exploration of the Mayan Cosmos first began. 

There are twenty days making up Mayan Time. These days have energies and stories that inform how these people thought about themselves. Their sense of the way of the world unfurls through the people’s measurement of time, as practiced daily through their observation of their calendars .  Thus, these calendars holds their creation story, their values and their archetypes. Their behaviors and actions are prescribed to certain days. Eb's qualities as explained by Maya_Thought on Instagram are featured here and below

The ancient Maya were mathematically precise people who multiplied without dividing.  Much like the eternal expansion of the universe, they looked at wide ranging patterns repeating themselves thru multiples, rather unlike the Western sciences that dig deep into the division and fractions . 

 

Maya People, even today,  accept a flow of days, collectively derived, providing  common meanings from the archetypes of each daysign.  Modern Mayas have different names for the same energies and also use different associations of the day-signs with directions. I use the Classical Mayan name designations (which Yucatan Maya also still use) from the classical Mayan period that flourished until about 1000 AD in the area of Central America.  

There are twenty day-sign energies in every calendar . Oc - dog, and Chuen - monkey,  are the 10th and 11th day-sign in the Maya Long Count way of numbering the twenty day-signs, basic to all Maya calendars. 

The Tzolkin, a 260 day sacred calendar has thirteen rounds of the twenty day-signs gives us the stories and meanings there which reverberate in Maya world views to this day.

(chart from Kenneth Johnston)

We enter the story of Chuen and Eb during the 12th daysign, Eb, the road, the path and the way. It is a Native American concept closely resembling the Tao in eastern cultures. 

This story brings us into the center of the ten days in the twenty day creation story. Many people consider Chuen to be the first day of the human calendar - when we appear in the scheme of things.  We have the dog which is cosmic law  and guardianship walking with the monkey, who is seen in the light of civilized humankind and they are walking a road (Eb)  leading to community and common good.

The 13th day sign - and one should know the Maya revered 13 above all other numbers - is Ben. In this story the council meets each Ben (every twenty days). Ben is a concept of community, alters and family. It is represented by reeds and bamboo. These plants can be seen by the strength the massive entangled roots giving the community an ability to withstand the floods and storms while living on and near riverbanks. 

 Ik, the wind in the story, is the second day sign in the order of creation,  if one begins with the daysign Imix - and for these purposes, I do.  This story illustrates  or plays with the Mayan concepts of wind (Ik), dog (Oc - guardianship, law)), Monkey (Chuen which translates to artisan or craftsman and is associated with arts and culture),  the road (Eb) and Community (Ben).

I hope this helps. Light, Carole. (Ik Glyph with ancient tree shaped by wind, original art, Carole Dixon)

Stories I tell

May 29, 2023

You all, 

I have mentioned I write continuously. I’ve rediscovered this handy little blogging spot and will now  begin saving some of the stories I tell here. There will be a lot of discontinuous time-hopping. This is the beauty of blogs. Nobody has to read everything there or in order, only what interests them.My mate and I live a rather isolated existence in the Rogue Valley. Especially since covid.  For my social life, I needed friends, so well…. I made up a few. I needed ways to express metaphorically what I see in the world around. I will begin posting these tales beginning with stories I began in 2012 - the last time this blog was active. I begin with Chuen and Oc, a story which began telling itself to me not long after I began day keeping the Mayan calendars in 2012. 

Next we will hear from Motu - the Mother of the Universe, who came to me by way of dear friend. A cloth artist, Wini McQueen, was headed to Africa and wanted to know if she could bring me anything back. I thought for a minute and then said very seriously, “you can bring me back the Mother of the Universe.”  Wini, being Wini, as she wandered the cloth markets of west Africa asked the merchants if they had the Mother of the Universe. The answer was always no. Then one day, someone beckoned her, telling her he had the mother of universe here, in this basket of old cloths. 

He pulled out a bent nail representation of an old woman, bucket on her head and the earth on her skirt. Wini brought her back and  Motu instantly became alive between the two of us and we were quick to realize she has her own stories.

She sits on an alter in the pet cemeter. At the beginning of each trecena, (a Mayan 13 day week) she is moved to the next direction. For the curious, this is a star shaped path - north to south to east to west and back to north. A never ending dance.

Sometimes I write about Elorac who is Carole through the looking glass, an enduring part of me, coming out in the  early 1980’s. It seemed I needed her to gain distance from Carole, and writing in third person seemed to do the trick.

In these entries you will also meet Wolf, Raven, my grandmothers and the grandmothers. You may hear from the grandmothers right away.  They don’t like being on the back burner. You know how insistent the ancestors can be! There is God L, who is not such a great guy. There are the Benefactors, great trees providing all that is needed. But God L took over the Cacao Tree which is the money tree. There are terrible things afoot. Motu, sits on the alter with Albert and Walt, as they try to steer Earth and the galaxies into something new that even Motu has never seen before.  

And then sometimes, Carole, me, the identity that goes out into the world, she has something to say - like right now. She will be interjecting, as if this is some kind of typical blog and you might be interested in her take in the world.  

Like I said when I began, this is not a linear blog. It is a container. A chalice if you will, of all things Carole. I am giving my friends, these characters and Elorac and myself a place to have a voice, to express ourselves, to have an opinion. Nobody is obligated to read all these words about these worlds and words inside of me, but I offer them to you. They seem to want to come off the six acres here and mingle with the rest of the world. I’m opening the floodgates. 
Enjoy what is meaningful and read what interests you. Thank you if you are reading. It is a conversation! Welcome in.

The Way of Oc and Chuen in Meso-Earth

 A dog and a monkey were walking down the path looking for the town of Eb where they would find food and shelter in this unfamiliar place. There had been high winds for the eleven days of this strange journey.  Their hopes waned as person after person told them they had yet to find the correct road. "Straighten up,” said one person “and you will find Eb.” “Dress better to find the way," said another. Oc, the dog, and Chuen, the monkey, were sore and discouraged. “Eb, the Way can not be found,”  said another. 

Oc and Chuen came to cross roads.. 

"Which way, which way?" Chuen wailed. 

Oc stood still and silent, big teardrops flowing down their old faithful face. 

"I don't know which way to go." Chuen was stuck in fear, exhausted from lack of refuge. They saw a small moving hump in the road  with a squawking bird sitting atop coming slowly towards them from the direction they came straight ahead. It was a turtle with a brown thrush squawking on its back. Oc looked at them inquiringly.. 

"Why are you so angry, Thrush?" Chuen asked. 

"The turtle is making me angry. He carries his home on his back and not interested in taking me back to my Eb home."

"You know where Eb is?" asked Chuen excitedly. 

"Yes," Said the turtle. "Eb is right here, where-ever we are.  Eb is my home, the path I travel. This is why I carry my home on my back because I am at home everywhere I go. There is no place that is not home to me."

"What about you," Chuen asked Thrush, clearly confused. "You said Eb was down the road where you live? We are looking for EB because we must find shelter from the mighty wind of Ik.   

"It is down the road," the Thrush insisted and laughed her beautiful laugh. "Eb is where-ever you go, just as turtle says. But my Eb is down the road where my nest and young are, and I must go back and care for them for this is my way."

"If everywhere is Eb," said Chuen, "than I am already here and yet there is no respite from Ik, the mighty wind."

"You must find your own way," said the enigmatic Thrush. "Take care which way you go. You have reminded me I can fly home on the mighty wings of Ik." She flew off. Turtle continued marching down the path they had just walked.

Chuen and Oc looked at Turtle. He headed towards where they had come from. "No, I am not going backwards," Oc proclaimed. "We must choose one of these paths and keep going. Let us go to the left," Oc suggested. "The wind will be behind us and maybe the way will not be as hard." 

After they had gone a ways Bobcat startled them by jumping from a tree. "I heard you two were looking for Eb." 

"Yes," they nodded. "Do you know the way?"

 

Bobcat laughed with a trill which ended with a purr. "Eb is here, just as Thrush told you. And you are in exactly in the right place to get respite from the wind. Come into my home for a fine meal and take shelter from Ik. Tomorrow the great council of Ben shall begin convening and you are in good time attend. You can tell in this great council how the road has been hard. Together we will put our heads together and find a way to get through such rough weather." 

"Thank you very much," Chuen said with great gratitude. 

"Thank you very much," said Oc with humbleness.  

Bobcat led them to his den, a great comfortable cavern nestled in the trunk of a gigantic water oak. Oc and Chuen began to feel better as they relaxed for the first time in this strange place. For eleven days now they had been on this road whose name they only now learned was Eb. Eb took you where ever your feet led you and finally their path took them somewhere comfortable, out of the howling wind. 

Ms Bobcat served Chuen some cabbage and Oc enjoyed lizard stew.  After Chuen finished their meal, they could wait no longer to ask Bobcat and Ms Bobcat what this council of Ben was about. 

"Everyone comes from far and wide,” Ms Bobcat explained. ”We  come from all directions and perspective. Locally we get together once a unial - that is every twenty days -  and discuss things.  This is a larger gathering taking place at the Solstice. All  of our tribes will attend. Our local tribe will be discussing Ik tomorrow because people are suffering during this wind. It is as if Ik is up to no good, but we know better than that. Something greater is at play, we are sure. The great solstice is coming. Once our meeting tomorrow takes place, we will being the journey to the Solstice Council. This is the last solstice of the Haab. On Caban everyone gathers, all the tribes, near and far. This is not why you are here?”

Chuen stared at her. They had no idea why they were here. Until recently they had been a young girl living in the United States of America.  Inexplicably they were now inside a tree talking to two bobcats.

Later when all were in bed, Bobcat looked at his mate. "I do not believe they know anything that is happening. They are ignorant of much, they kept asking everyone to take them to Eb while their feet walked Eb and always have. We are all put upon by the nastiness of this wind. I can't say that I blame them for wanting shelter. These solar flares are wreaking havoc with Meso-Earth. The winds are driven by all the magnetic change. I bet these two came from above. That hasn't happened in many batuuns, now has it?

“No it has not.” His wife looked alarmed.  “Do not fret, dear. This is now and the future has yet to become. We can only do now what we can do and make the road to where we want to be.”

“All is not good in the upper world,” his wife cried, and is leaking down from the upper Realm into our house. What are we to do?”

“You must stay calm, Ms Bobcat,” her mate exclaimed to her. He looked deep into her troubled eyes. “Do not dwell on these things. You are warm and dry with plenty of food in your stomach.  This panic and worry is a disease they have in the upper Realm. If we let it afflict us here, we will not survive the coming changes. You must banish your worry. You must stay in the here and now. Stay on the path we create daily. This worry-thought-poison is seeping into the air and the waters and even the living dirt. Now it has you all jittery. These are two souls lost from their own dimension. We must treat them kindly and find them help at the Great Council of Ben.  By Caban and the Solstice we will have set the path before the great passage commences.  But now we must get some sleep. Pay attention to your dreams tonight. They are important if we are to know how to address the rapid changes of reality happening here and in the upper realm.

Ms Bobcat never took her eyes off Bobcat. She drank the wisdom in his words as if they were  living water from sacred springs. “You are right, my love,” she whispered quietly. I must go and finish my day-keeping activities so I may retire into the dreams of this night.

Chuen and Oc listened closely as they lay snuggled with each other in a small round room whose floor was as soft and supportive as the fine bed, Chuen's mom and dad had at home. Their dad worked at a mattress store and their parents had the best mattress ever.  Yet this mossy enclosure was better than the best mattress they had ever lain on. Chuen could not stay awake any longer, once Ms Bobcat quit talking and went to finish up her day-keeping activities.

Oc, however, did not go to sleep. They turned over and over in their mind this strange place.  Just eleven days ago, they’d been at home by the creek with their two people. They were with Chuen, who had been known as Willow and she was his person’s great granddaughter in the "upper realm"  - as Bobcat had called where they once had been. 

They had been playing by the creek. Oc explored a delicious scent under a large root by the creek and Willow followed her. They lost their balance as the ground seemed to swell under them and a crack opened. Willow picked up Oc and was clutching her as they both fell down this crack opening in small steep creek bank . They rolled down into the crack  for what seemed forever. 

When they landed, Willow looked different. They had  short broken hair all over them and a tail. They were a monkey, Oc was quite sure of it. Oc seemed to be about the same, still only about six pounds with long black and white silky hair. 

Before the Crack there had not been words in Oc’s mind.. They’d known things alright, but now there were words. They were able to communicate with others, including Chuen, which was now Willow’s name. Oc  did not know how they knew this. They were no longer Scout, the small dog. They were Oc  in Meso-Earth. A terrible wind had buffeted them ever since they rolled to a stop, somewhere entirely different. Sleepiness overwhelmed Oc. This comfort exceeded their comfy existence at home. Everything smelled so wholesome, even though it was also strange and unsettling.

May 5, 2023

I’ll start here 
-in a  mini crisis of confidence, 
connection and cosmos.

I invite poetTess over, asking for her to bring a cupful of meaning for me, please dear friend. poetTess asks her friend Hecate, of the crossroads, to cross this threshold with us. Hecate motions for IxCuina to come on in. 

“It might as well be a party”, poetTess sighs. “Carole, you have always loved a party.” But we know it is no longer true. I dread a party, a good time, any opportunity to connect with others. 

“What is true,” I explain, forever explaining. “I invited you all here because I have lost meaning. Really it’s that I have lost meaningful connections to others.”

IxCuina acknowledges this. “You are always so naughty.” She inspects her nails. “It does make you interesting.” She raises her eyebrows and looks pointedly at me and sees me crumble a little more when she referenced to my choice decades ago to live an interesting life. 

Now I feel overwhelmed by it all. Ixchuina nods towards the gardens to remind me what I already know - “You are connected to the land and seasons, to birds and plants, the water and the .dirt - they all  tether you to this existence."

“At this time of lunar eclipse, it doesn’t feel enough,” I explain.

“Feeling existential, are you?” Chirps in that old hag, Hecate. I glare at Hecate because it is like looking in a mirror. Scrawny old woman, nobody thinks twice to see hanging around on the corner, under the tree, around the bend from the Crack in the Earth.

“Yes, Hecate, I am feeling quite existential. What’s to be done?” She looks bored, full of ennui, herself. I look at her a little harder. “What’s up, Hecate?” care creeping in.

“It’s you”, she says, suddenly energetic, “it’s me! It is being frozen in time that is being especially problematic lately. - Time itself is at a crossroads”, she explains. 

And here we go, Hecate and me, down into our hall of mirrors together. “Times are coming together and we are having a collective head explosion”, I ask?

Hecate nods slowly. “Yeah. Cosmic forces and human minds are at a meeting point. All that is really required is to stay in your meat suit, even though you and many others feel the need to explode into a new knowing. All you have to do is maintain. It is that full moon, you know. Add a dash of eclipse, throw in some seditious conspiracy and a world in a frenzy of news consumption and there are highly volatile  circumstances brewing.” 

I ask, all the while nodding like I’m wise which indeed I am not- “is it like the gases stuff above a fire - the air heavy with a gas, not the flame, but highly combustible?  Then I turn to poetTess, “can you summarize all of this?”

“Passing through time zones, 
heads ablaze,
We pass frequencies back and forth,
all doubting any of this is real.
We convene for a quick morning party
Because Carole was feeling 
irrelevant and out of sorts.
Convene
Discuss 
And make it all clear as mud. 
Then we will go about our day.
AND, at least,
We all feel like clearer mud
Clearer than we did,
Because we talked and connected.
So go forth into your realms
Inviting the day in.
Respond in kindness”

 

why publish

I have a mystical vibe, as an introduction to who is behind these words, and what we will discover as I hit the publish button, opening a window into my mind. I am leftie, in the sense of what hand and which side of the brain (right) I operate with and also a leftie in a deep riveting desire for social justice to emerge and for radical equality to come into its own in a peaceful collective understanding and consisting of diverse peoples everywhere.

I love to explore symbolism and cultural alphabets. I love divinatory practices. 

While gardening extensively, I also write, listen to books and podcasts, and live a life sequestered from crowds. I am married to a combat veteran of the Vietnam war, am his helpmate and his ill tempered (on occasion) assistant. Today is the anniversary of Carl being blown up by a Russian mortar wielded by a north Vietnamese in 1969, He reminded me just this morning who made the rocket and why he is adamant that Russia is not our friend.

I am a mother, grandmother, daughter, sister, and friend. As I sit at what feels like the edge of all things civilized, I manifest being an ally of the environment, soil, creeks and rivers as best as I am able in my limited understanding and means.

There is a degree of anthropology in my long ago past which has colored my understanding of the world and guided it ever since. The world around me translates to belief systems and  cultural alphabets. I long to understand our ancient history and how the indigenous mind works.  These longings flavored a deep dive into the I Ching beginning in my twenties. I understood it as an alphabet, whole and complete of a world view that was coherent, holding directions, seasons, a creation story always beginning again. An escape from the western linear thinking I was desperately trying to shed in my bewildering life as a young housewife and mother, working full time, married to a lawyer, held in the bosom of southern, conformist, social norms.  

Decades later, I began studying the Mayan Calendars for the same reasons. These windows into ancient indigenous minds, coherent and whole, moored to the natural world have helped guide me, as mother, grandmother, wife to combat wounded vet,  in a complex racist society dominated by men, hierarchies and understated cruelties. 

These days I have accepted my own ancestors as who and what I have a right and duty to explore. I have paid scant attention to them in the past, those damned colonists, Indian killing, enslavers. I wanted to have nothing to do with them. And yet here I am, the product of long strands of DNA, miles and miles of it in my own body, creating the person typing on this keyboard. Time to look at my privileges, my own place in this mess of changing paradigms warring in this culture.

It is time to have the courage to begin expressing my values and understandings.

I now study tarot asa source for divination. Tarot has  symbols used in western understanding of reality from as as far back as Sumeria and Mesopotamia. It holds a patriarchal hierarchal world view that has been gaining strength on this planet for thousands of years. It also holds the directions,  seasons,  astrology (and thus astronomical understandings) of my ancestors. In this practice,  I hope to find a path through the archetypes making up western world views and expand our understanding of  the elements into larger concepts, once more woven in a web of nature and radical interdependence of all. I hope to have the language to bridge our understanding as members of a dominating/dominated society to the concepts born from nature stressing our collaborative and interdependent nature. 

Today the Strength card came up as I questioned the Tarot about why to write and allow others to read. What you have read is how I responded to this card as a writing prompt today.

strength - publish to find courage while giving voice to my values.